There is a secret world for internet columnists, one that I have recently been exposed to. In the interest of full disclosure I will be recording it here for public record.
Me:Me: Facebook has some weird stickersBryan: That is a dude who’s into bestiality and BDSM, and his flag belongs to no nation.Me: Hey now, maybe it’s not bestiality, maybe his dog is just very dapper.Bryan: The dog is flesh-colored. That’s upsetting.Me: It’s a Chihuahau. They’re like the hairless cats of dogs, except they have hair. And are not cats.Bryan: Chihuahuas don’t abide hats like that. I know this for a fact.Bryan: Thanks, Uncle Milford, and your rat-dog from hell.Me: I thought you were going to bed.Bryan: I can’t. Today was an angry day.Me: Ah. Well maybe you will calm down with some cat videos.Me: Or you could watch 19 Kids and Counting. Michelle’s voice is very soothing.Me: Quiet like a mouse.Bryan: Ah. I’m doing it the old-fashioned way like the Amish.Bryan: Waiting until my phone dies.Me: And then angrily staring into the dark. Gotcha.Bryan: YES! How did you ever!Me: Then I will keep bothering you (and everyone else) until your phone dies.Me: I’m a good friend like that.