Me:Me: Facebook has some weird stickersBryan: That is a dude who’s into bestiality and BDSM, and his flag belongs to no nation.Me: Hey now, maybe it’s not bestiality, maybe his dog is just very dapper.Bryan: The dog is flesh-colored. That’s upsetting.Me: It’s a Chihuahau. They’re like the hairless cats of dogs, except they have hair. And are not cats.Bryan: Chihuahuas don’t abide hats like that. I know this for a fact.Bryan: Thanks, Uncle Milford, and your rat-dog from hell.Me: I thought you were going to bed.Bryan: I can’t. Today was an angry day.Me: Ah. Well maybe you will calm down with some cat videos.Me: Or you could watch 19 Kids and Counting. Michelle’s voice is very soothing.Me: Quiet like a mouse.Bryan: Ah. I’m doing it the old-fashioned way like the Amish.Bryan: Waiting until my phone dies.Me: And then angrily staring into the dark. Gotcha.Bryan: YES! How did you ever!Me: Then I will keep bothering you (and everyone else) until your phone dies.Me: I’m a good friend like that.
There is a secret world for internet columnists, one that I have recently been exposed to. In the interest of full disclosure I will be recording it here for public record.
I don’t even have any more to say really, just that yeah. This is what happens when homebodies get tipsy. Pour another glass or two and who knows what could happen? Might break out the sponges and craft clay and get really crazy.