On Friday I had a panic attack. It felt like it came out of nowhere, but really it came after I spent all morning dreading work, and then kicked in fifteen minutes into my shift.
I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that I’ve been having a hard time dealing with everything, and part of that has been a growing anxiety around work. I wanted to be okay, I wanted to be able to just soldier on and let everything settle back to normal, I expected to be able to work at the level I used to. But I can’t, and I overstressed myself trying. It can be so frustrating to realize that you’re no longer capable of something you used to do easily, but that’s where I am.
As of Saturday I am taking time off work. Maybe a year, I’m not exactly sure. We are blessed to be in a situation with David’s new job where we can afford to do this kind of thing. I’ve been referred to behavioural health services for counseling and given a perscription to calm me down if another panic attack comes. Outside of that I’m going to try to just take it slow and try to heal.